Dancing Down the Path
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| Dancing Down the Path By Sarah Torgerson |
What inspired this painting?
Nature. Sustainability. Dancing the toxins out of my body with my dance hoop. Eating clean.
Working for sustenance. A longing
for something more, amplified in the deepest parts of myself. Foreign feelings washing over me. They are delicious; full of vibrant energy
begging to be spread across a canvas, flowing off, into my physical world.
I lack my usual boundaries of black and white, or filling an entire space with all that’s inside of me. Before I created this, I made space internally by releasing all the unnecessary thought processes firing off constantly. I turned off my media. I spent a whole lot of time just being quiet and working; Writing in nature, and observing all the details. This painting reflects this free space.
I lack my usual boundaries of black and white, or filling an entire space with all that’s inside of me. Before I created this, I made space internally by releasing all the unnecessary thought processes firing off constantly. I turned off my media. I spent a whole lot of time just being quiet and working; Writing in nature, and observing all the details. This painting reflects this free space.
Dancing in the free space, is what is left inside; the present, and what I long
for.
I utilized blueberry seeds, mint leaves and borage seed in its creation.
blueberry symbolism: protection(internet)
Mint: eternal refreshment, virtue, wisdom (internet)
Borage: courage, following your heart
During this time of creation, I felt so alive, and I was feeling called to plant spirits. My free space and observation brought on a connection that was, and IS powerful. More so, with each passing year. Every time I find myself alone, breathing, being, simplifying, the plant world grows inside of me. Every time I go here, I find myself deeper in the woods. I feel nourished. I learn and absorb this world more than any other. Most times, my interactions with plants in the wild are more intense than with humans. My goodness, the things I learn.
Why haven’t I taken this path? Why do I stray from a clear calling?
Is it because I don’t think I’m capable? I mean, I kill plants when I try to grow them. If I do grow them, sometimes I waste them. Why would the plant world call me on such a spiritual level when I can’t keep them alive? It must be a false feeling, right?
I struggle with these emotions, and boundaries. I question each angle of a feeling, wondering if it's right or wrong. I feel things wildly so. The way my mind connects its observations is greatly different than most of my friends and family, and I have a rough time expressing myself with HOW I connect to these observations. Sometimes you’ll find me deeply obsessed with a plant, a person. A concept. An emotion. A lesson. Here, there’s no gray area. I only want in. I can’t stand to not immerse myself. It makes me feel insane at times if I must divert my eyes. Boundaries are crossed in the name of explosive emotion. I can drive people insane with my buzzing, and barging in, if I make it past my own borders of indecision.
Sometimes I feel things just the same, yet I am so fucking afraid of the feelings, that I run the opposite direction. It’s too beautiful. Too delicious. I shut down. I stuff it. I ache until my bones are just shy of being a pile of dust. Why?
I am called to a few places lately. With a woman named Sarah. My obsession with her? Her ability to flow with the season’s bounty, and create ongoing nourishment for her family and friends. The kitchen Goddess. With her, I can explore her process and the bond she has created with her harvest.
I utilized blueberry seeds, mint leaves and borage seed in its creation.
blueberry symbolism: protection(internet)
Mint: eternal refreshment, virtue, wisdom (internet)
Borage: courage, following your heart
During this time of creation, I felt so alive, and I was feeling called to plant spirits. My free space and observation brought on a connection that was, and IS powerful. More so, with each passing year. Every time I find myself alone, breathing, being, simplifying, the plant world grows inside of me. Every time I go here, I find myself deeper in the woods. I feel nourished. I learn and absorb this world more than any other. Most times, my interactions with plants in the wild are more intense than with humans. My goodness, the things I learn.
Why haven’t I taken this path? Why do I stray from a clear calling?
Is it because I don’t think I’m capable? I mean, I kill plants when I try to grow them. If I do grow them, sometimes I waste them. Why would the plant world call me on such a spiritual level when I can’t keep them alive? It must be a false feeling, right?
I struggle with these emotions, and boundaries. I question each angle of a feeling, wondering if it's right or wrong. I feel things wildly so. The way my mind connects its observations is greatly different than most of my friends and family, and I have a rough time expressing myself with HOW I connect to these observations. Sometimes you’ll find me deeply obsessed with a plant, a person. A concept. An emotion. A lesson. Here, there’s no gray area. I only want in. I can’t stand to not immerse myself. It makes me feel insane at times if I must divert my eyes. Boundaries are crossed in the name of explosive emotion. I can drive people insane with my buzzing, and barging in, if I make it past my own borders of indecision.
Sometimes I feel things just the same, yet I am so fucking afraid of the feelings, that I run the opposite direction. It’s too beautiful. Too delicious. I shut down. I stuff it. I ache until my bones are just shy of being a pile of dust. Why?
I am called to a few places lately. With a woman named Sarah. My obsession with her? Her ability to flow with the season’s bounty, and create ongoing nourishment for her family and friends. The kitchen Goddess. With her, I can explore her process and the bond she has created with her harvest.
Then, I am called to a farm up the road, first for a cleaning job. That is, until I am bombarded by Borage before I reach the front door. Borage asked me to mingle for a few. Touch the petals, and spikey stems. They seemed to burrow themselves deep inside of me as I stroked its petals. Borage is said to be great for those with a heavy heart, or needing courage to follow their heart.
More than cleaning, I wanted to explore the land. To find more borage, and other wild things hiding in the wooded area. I felt a connection here. Almost as if I had been here before, and I was right where I needed to be. Here, is a place of growth. People that can help me with the growing of plants and keeping them alive, and seeing them through to harvest and usage. I feel alive thinking about the possibilities, and my paths converging here.
Food. Medicine. Wilderness. Sustainability. Harvest and Processing. Connecting with those that work with Mother
Earth in a way that speaks to my heart and soul.
With the full moon rising, I accepted this journey. I released any misconceptions or doubts about
this path. I broke down barriers to
venture into this wildness that keeps calling to me. I let the colors of this world move over me. I found some potential places to deepen my knowledge, and I have reached out, despite my fear.
I’m tired of running from true transformation. Tired of smashing down butterflies because I deny their existence in my inner world. I accept the fluttering in my belly, the excitement in my bones; The flow of what is me and my interactions in this time, on this planet.
Thank you for reading. I will be branching out, and sharing my thought processes with the paint, rather than sharing progress shots of my work. It helps to keep me present, in full observation, without outside noise and emotion.
Love,
Sarah
I’m tired of running from true transformation. Tired of smashing down butterflies because I deny their existence in my inner world. I accept the fluttering in my belly, the excitement in my bones; The flow of what is me and my interactions in this time, on this planet.
Thank you for reading. I will be branching out, and sharing my thought processes with the paint, rather than sharing progress shots of my work. It helps to keep me present, in full observation, without outside noise and emotion.
Love,
Sarah
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| Spider enjoying blueberries on my canvas |
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